Here With Me
by SweetStrawberryShortCake
Summary: Sentinel Jim/Guide Blair story. With Jim hiding his online status, he has put the well being of both himself and his Guide in jeopardy. When it becomes apparent that neither can no longer stay un-bonded Blair sets out to find his Sentinel and Jim slowly learns to accept himself and his place in his world. Sentinel/Guide Universe. Based on and inspired by the work by Keira Marcos.
1. Prolouge

**AN: A new pet project of mine. I love the Sentinel and I was swept away by the Sentinel/Guide romance. Seeing as how the Guides are only very briefly mentioned in the show…as far as I know… this story is more based on and inspired by the work of Keira Marcos and her two stories 'The Sentinels of Atlantis (Atlantis/Sentinel)' and 'The Awakening (Sentinel)'. Keira's work can be found on her website. Enjoy! :-) **

**Playlist: 1) Here With Me Dido 2) 2 Become 1 Spice Girls 3) If You Come To Me Atomic Kitten **

**Here With Me: Prolog **

_Guide Blair: I cannot be until you're resting here with me_

Blair sat up in a cold sweat. His heart was beating a mile a minute and his shields were dangerously low. He choked back a small sob as he oriented himself in the room. He had been dreaming, dreaming that he had been standing in front of his sentinel, standing just out of arms reach. He never saw his face, or heard his voice. He only knew. He knew this presence. He always had and always will. He had always felt the empty place in his soul, in his mind. And he knew the soft brush against the back of his mind was his Sentinel. All his life the other had always been there in some small way. Calming him when he was overwhelmed, protecting him. There had been times when they had been so close, close enough to almost touch. But there had always remained a little bit of distance between them. Like being on the wrong side of a two way mirror, just knowing that the very person you were searching for was on the other side.

Blair pulled his knees up to chest and wanted so much just to collapse under the emotional weight of the outside world, of the world completely outside the solitude of his own mind. One by one, piece by piece he built his shields back up and secured them securely around his mind. He was trained how to do this, he was after all a shaman how had walked the full path. However, on nights like this he found himself struggling. It was hard to rebuild, to separate himself from the overwhelming emotions from other people. An emotional blow out was uncommon for Blair, but when they happened, they were hard to recover from. Thankfully his training made it so he didn't have to seclude himself at the center.

He stood and walked over to the window. The night was cold, and the window was covered with condensation. He trailed his fingers through it and stared at the cloudy, over cast night sky. Not a star in sight. It was nights like this that he so desperately wanted to see a shooting star. So he could make a wish that his Sentinel would come to him. He had always known his Sentinel was a man and that he was far away. Yet there was the constant brush of something against the very back of his mind. He had been searching ever since he came online when he was barely seven years old, and never once did he find the other. No matter how many compatible and perfect matches the center found for him, he always able to just look at them and know they were not his. He supposed he should be flattered at how many sentinels simply wanted him; for varying reasons, but never once could he find the masses of sentinels anything but an annoyance. A disappointing annoyance.

Blair was more than certain he was out there somewhere, hiding maybe or even latent. Blair refused to think that his perfect match was dormant. The mere idea that there was some type of mental or physical defect separating them made Blair's stomach clinch. Worst case scenario, his sentinel was dead. Blair didn't know which idea was worse, his sentinel being alive but unable to get to him either because he couldn't or wouldn't, his sentinel being alive and disabled, or his sentinel being dead. No matter the scenarios, his blood ran cold and he shivered against the cold window pane.

Silently he sent a prayer, and simple longing that he could no longer wait. He had waited all he could. Any longer and he would need to be put into long term or permanent seclusion. He had gone too long, and he refused to take anyone other than the man he could feel deep in his mind. He was created for one sole purpose, and that purpose was to be with his sentinel. He leant against the window as tears slid down his face.

_Sentinel Jim: I am what I am, I'll do what I want, but I can't hide_

Jim threw himself up in the bed. His sheets clung to him with sweat. He was barely able to find the strength to crawl from his bed, let alone stand. His knees shook and then gave way under him. Everything around him was like an agony for him. Jim had always been a strong sentinel even though he was unbounded, and he took pride in that. He had never felt the need for a guide. He was able to dial down his senses so he was able to prevent a sensory overload, and so he never felt like he needed to find his guide. However, it was nights like tonight where he could not deny who and what he was. He sat up and rested his back against his bed. The cotton sheets, normally so soft, irritated his back; and the smooth, sanded wood of his hard wood floor made it feel as if splinters were piercing his soles though none were. Jim had such strong abilities, such a strong mind that was so heavily shielded, that normally he could function like normal. Sometimes though his mind was defenseless, like now, unshielded and vulnerable.

In that moment in time Jim could not deny the truth. He had denied it his whole life; he had hid the truth from everyone including himself, as had his parents. He could distinctly remember when he came online when he was five years old. He had been in excruciating pain, he senses blown so far open he could hear whispered conversations up to five miles away. He had been able to see for up to three and, just the air on his skin had been an agony. His other senses: taste and smell were so over stimulated that he could taste things that shouldn't have had a taste, and smell the most minuscule scents. At the time, sentinels and guides were taken from their homes and families and were enrolled in special classes in special schools. He had made it clear to parents that he didn't want to be taken from them, so they had him treated anonymously at a clinic and had left before the Sentinel/Guide Council representative had reached them. A friend of his parents acted as a conservator for him, completely unregistered and under the table. He trained with this Guide for five years until he simply didn't need him anymore.

He was strong and he took pride in that. He didn't need, or frankly want, a guide. Not to mention that most Sentinels and Guides were men. Jim didn't have a problem with that in the least, he didn't disapprove of it, but he knew himself enough to know that was Heterosexual. He was secure in that. He knew that if he found his Guide, that gender and sexuality wouldn't even factor in, but he still couldn't see himself with any man. And Jim knew his Guide was man, it was in the back of his mind, that knowledge.

Jim felt a brush against the back of his mind: sad, desperate, lonely, and in pain. And with the brush came the knowledge that his Guide couldn't remain unbounded for much longer. That his Guide had remained unbounded for so long that it was painful. And with that knowledge had come a silent request for Jim to come to him finally.

Jim did hate what he was doing to the other man. He knew very well that the man could feel Jim just as Jim could feel the other man. He hated that he was keeping someone from finding happiness, at least happiness with him. Jim hoped very sincerely that the man would cave in and accept a pairing with someone that he was compatible with, even slightly. He wanted the man to find at least some degree of comfort and happiness.

Jim felt an irritated and sad brush against the back of his mind. It was as if the other man was questioning his sincerity and his seriousness in both the regards of not wanting him, but yet wanting him to be happy. Jim frowned and considered pushing the other man off, but found he was too exhausted for such things. Instead he brushed back his answer. The presence in the back of his mind was hurt and slightly angry. Jim sighed and reached out and brushed care and worry against the other's mind. Jim did care. He truly wanted him to be happy, and he was worried the stranger would never pair with anyone. The presence in his mind flared with indignation and Jim winced. He might as well be looked at as unworthy.

The brush of a mind against his own became arrogant, and Jim could almost hear, "I will find you, Sentinel. And when I do you will no longer be able to hide from me and deny anything," be whispered into his ear. Jim bristled slightly at that then sent his own message. "If you can find me, I wouldn't be able to, Guide. But if you cannot find me, I would like for you to take another Sentinel. Don't remain unbounded and alone please."

His Guide brushed again, this time with more love then Jim could never remember seeing or feeling. This perfect stranger had such intense love for him, for someone he had never met. In that exact instance Jim felt foolish for denying them both something so strong. But he had decided long ago that if he were to meet his Guide accidently that it would be fine and un-helped. So he just nodded his head. If the Guide could find him, he'd accept him and their pair bond to the full extent. If the Guide was able to find him, Jim would give him everything and deny him nothing. "Until then," seemed to be echoed in both their mind simultaneously.

Jim crawled back into bed and laid his head on his pillow. He couldn't help the smile on his lips, nor could he deny the healthier state his mind was in. Those simple little brushes had been enough solitude for him to rebuild his shields, though he also knew that his Guide had helped as much as he could. The presence was still there in the back of his mind, just as it always was, but it was further and had shields of it own in place again. Jim smiled and let himself slip off to sleep.


	2. Chapter One: Memories Part One

**Here With Me: Chapter One Memories Part One**

**Playlist: 1) Here With Me Dido 2) Here With Me Mercy Me 3) Wake Me Up Evenesance 4) 2 Become 1 Spice Girls 5) If You Come To Me Atomic Kitten 6) Eternal Flame**

'_**And I can feel your presence here with me, suddenly I'm lost within your beauty, caught up in the wonder of your touch. Here in this moment I surrender to your love. You're everywhere I go. I am not alone, you call me as your own, to know you and be known' Mercy Me Here With Me**_

Guide Blair: Seven Years of Age_'I can't breathe until you're resting here with me. I won't leave I can't hide. I cannot be until you're resting here with me.'_

Blair was playing at school on the playground when he felt a wave of pain wash over him originating from his leg. However, he knew that he hadn't hurt himself. Yet the intense wave of pain almost brought him to his knees. He looked around in shock and gasped when he saw a first grader wailing on the ground with a thoroughly scraped knee. It was so badly scraped that all the skin on it was scraped off. The fear and agony that the younger boy was feeling hit Blair hard in the chest. Then panic and fear and adrenalin rushed through his veins. He saw teachers begin to rush to the fallen boy. Then one by one, the emotions of all the others on the playground hit him in head hard and fast. He wailed and gripped his head which was splitting open with pain. The emotions were too much, he couldn't take them. Love, pain, happiness, anger, sadness, regret and every other human emotion bearded down on his vulnerable, exposed mind.

"Blair?! Are you alright?! Carrie, check on Blair. I think he just came online!" He could hear a teacher call out. Then there was a pair of strong, yet feminine arms wrapping around him and picking him up off the ground.

"We need to get Howie to the nurses office, and then we need to call 911 and have Blair transferred to the nearest center!"

He was in such incalculable pain. But there was something in the back of his mind. There was something that was shushing him, soothing him, calming him. He could feel this love envelope his mind, not taking the pain away, but gentling it to something a little bit more manageable.

The rest of the day went by in a hazed out blur, but Blair remembered the safety he had felt enveloping his mind as clearly as he had that day.

Sentinel Jim: Same Day, twelve years of age _'Sun shines through the rain. A whole life so lonely. And then you come and ease the pain'_

Jim lifted his head from his arm and stared off into the distance. He was home sick with the flu and he was suddenly thankful for it. He felt his mouth drop open and form an 'O'.

"Little Alpha, everything alright?" Jim looked over at Dan and nodded. He relaxed back onto the couch.

"He just came online, and he's in a lot of pain." Dan looked over, amused.

"You can really feel him can't you Jimmy? It never ceases to surprise me just how powerful you are." Jim smiled and reserved himself to anchor the other boy as best as he could. All that day he had let his Guide take his comfort and solitude in Jim's mind. Jim could remember the strong feeling of gratitude flow over him and he in turn also felt safe in his Guide's mind.

Guide Blair: ten years of _age' You're everywhere I go. I am not alone. You call me as your own. To know you and be known' Mercy Me Here With Me_

Blair sat up on the side walk and sobbed at the pain shooting through his leg. He had crashed his bike and in the process had scraped his knee and shin. Not to mention the broken ankle from where his shoe lace had snagged in the peddle, which had been the reason for the crash in the first place. Blair felt a comforting brush against his mind and he let himself get lost in the comfort of that brush. The comfort was enough for him to be able to think rationally. He was at least four blocks from home, a lot farther than he should be. He couldn't limp home.

He had given his conservator the slip two blocks back and honestly didn't know if she's be able to find him any time soon. 'Wait there' ghosted into his mind and Blair knew it was the right thing to do. In an instant a large black panther was coming toward him. Blair didn't need to think about whether or not it was the spirit animal of his Sentinel. He could feel it. He reached out and touched the soft muzzle. The panther nuzzled his head into Blair's cheek. Blair wrapped his arms around the neck and hugged the large cat. The cat lay by his side and nudged his leg with his nose. 'Get on.' Seeped into his mind and Blair wasted no time following the instruction.

He abandoned his wrecked bike there; it was beyond repair and pointed in the general direction of home. The shock that was prevalent on both his parents' faces as well as Kellie's (his conservator) was almost too priceless. But it really was no laughing matter. His leg was dripping with blood and his ankle was at a funny angle. The panther had stayed with him all day and all night. Every so often worry and concern would seep into his mind. However Blair felt comfort in Sentinels' mind.

Guide Blair: thirteen years of age _'I believe it's meant to be darling. I watch you when you are sleeping. You belong with me. Do you feel the same or am I only dreaming?' Atomic Kitten Eternal Flame_

Blair looked out of the corner of his eyes at the boys in the locker room. He couldn't say he was necessarily attracted to other boys, but he knew was attracted to his Sentinel. Of course he was. Blair couldn't imagine lying beside any other man than the strong Sentinel of his dreams. Blair wanted so much to meet his Sentinel and to be swiped of his feet. Blair made a vow then and there that even if he slept with other people that his Sentinel would be the only person Blair would ever love. He felt a reluctant acceptance fill his mind. It was an acceptance without approval. Blair was confused by this. He had long ago realized that his Sentinel rejected the idea of being with a man, but Blair was not just a man, he was his Sentinel's Guide. He knew however that many pairs chose a platonic bond. Blair found it unnatural and wrong. He felt worry, his own worry, fill his heart. What if that was the case with them? What if his Sentinel didn't want him? Blair was expecting reassurance and maybe love to fill his mind through their bond. Instead his Sentinel pulled so far away that Blair could almost feel the bond snap. His Sentinel must have been disgusted and disturbed by his thoughts. He quickly toweled off and dressed before leaving the locker room, happy the school day was done.

Guide Blair: Sixteen Years old _'Darling, do you feel my heart beating? Do you understand? Do you feel the same or am I only dreaming? Is this burning an eternal flame? 'Atomic Kitten Eternal Flame_

Blair panted as the Sentinel kneeling between his legs sucked his cock hard into his mouth. He watched fascinated and totally transfixed. He slid his hand through the thick ginger hair and moaned. He threw his body back onto the bed and arched off it, his eyes clenched shut and his fists grasping the head board. He didn't want to see what was happening. He didn't want to see this…Sentinel. A Sentinel he had no real connection to, other than being acquaintances at school. He instead pretended that the boy was his big, strong Sentinel. The Sentinel who would only ever have his heart. He whimpered out as that image enhanced his enjoyment by a million. The thought of his Sentinel's mouth around his cock, his Sentinel's tongue eating his ass, his Sentinel's fingers preparing and his Sentinel's cock taking his virginity was really all that kept Blair on the bed, kept him mewling. He needed his Sentinel so badly that he was rock hard, covered in sweat, and flushed red from root to tip. He couldn't think all that clearly. All he could think was 'Sentinel. Sentinel. Sentinel.' Over and over and over and over again, but his feelings said so much more. Love, longing, need, lust seeped out of him, over him.

When it was over he laid on the bed with his back to the boy he had just slept with. He couldn't believe he had just given up his precious virginity to some Sentinel who didn't even matter. He felt guilty and ashamed, not just for being with another Sentinel but for imagining his Sentinel while it was happening. It wasn't fair to any of them. His Sentinel didn't want him like that and he had to go and inflict it on the man. The Sentinel had realized after they had both shot that Blair was in no way thinking of him. So he was of course unhappy too. However that might also be because he had started thinking of his own Guide as nature drove them to do.

Blair wanted to crawl into the Earth and die a little inside. He had never felt so lonely. He needed his Sentinel. He had been online for so long. If he didn't bond with him soon he might begin to go a bit mad.

Afterward when he was home he spent the rest of the night scrubbing the smell of the strange Sentinel off of his skin though it did not matter. There was no other Sentinel to send into a feral state, he was simply doing as his instincts dictated.

'Stop. You will hurt yourself. ' Blair froze at the thought, the brush. He had not felt such a strong brush from the other man in so long, in years maybe. Blair had almost, ALMOST, forgotten what it felt like. He looked down at his stomach to see that blood had risen and bubbled onto the surface of it. He had scrubbed himself raw. He dropped the rag and sank onto the floor of his shower. He felt his shoulders heave and within seconds he gave into the emotions in him. He sobbed into his raised knees and twisted his hands into his long hair. He was losing his mind. He couldn't keep doing this. Not even Blair was strong enough to survive indefinitely like this.

Unless…he got training to survive for as long as possible. He raised his head and stared at the shower door. He was graduating that May, the benefits of being a Genius. After he graduated he could travel to places where society meant nothing, where it was all about the simple lives Guides and Sentinels lived. There he would completely master himself and his mind. He would study their history; learn the ways of the people, learn to completely master his strength and abilities. He had always known he would test off the scales if he let himself. But he had always been so careful. Maybe it was time to throw caution to the wind. He would need to utilize and master all of his abilities if he was going to spend the rest of his life alone. Otherwise he'd end up a Guide in seclusion in a center. That would be hell for him, and he refused to let his precious mind crumble over another man's stubbornness.

Sentinel Jim: twenty-one years of age _'I didn't hear you leave, I wonder, how am I still here?'- Dido Here With Me_

Jim winced. The pain, the anger, the frustration his Guide felt hit him hard in the chest. He clenched his eyes shut and barely was able to keep himself from reaching out to the young man. His even stronger instincts were telling him to pack up his shit and head to New York. He felt determination wash over him as his Guide's plans seeped into his mind. Jim frowned then. He doubted it would help the boy. Joining the military had not helped him. He groaned and sat up. He looked around the barracks before dressing in his PT clothes. Then he headed out to beat out a five mile run. He needed to unwind after that. Hell, the kid had kept him awake all night with his constant moans, pants, and whispered words. His cock had been so hard all night, or it had been until his Guide had shot and in turn made Jim shoot into his briefs. That had a very embarrassing walk to the bathroom. Thank God most of the people were asleep.

He was running so hard. He knew he was neglecting and even borderline abusing his Guide but he just couldn't be with another man for so many reasons. He wanted to. He really did. But yet he didn't too. His instincts wanted him too, the military man who came from a conservative family wanted nothing to do with his Guide. Mostly out of fear.

He had felt it then. The snap in the back of his head. He faltered and stumbled, sending himself tumbling into the ground. The emptiness, God the emptiness was going to crush him. His senses blew out and he howled in agony as he no longer had the distant but real protection from his Guide. He threw his hands over his eyes and let out let a scream. It sounded inhuman and wild. The ground beneath his back cut deeply into his sensitive skin and he wanted to claw his own skin off to rid himself of the pain. Gone. It was the only thing he could think and understand. Gone gone gone gone so gone. Where, where was it, he? Where was the voice, the presence? He couldn't think about anything other than the bottomless pit that was his mind.

His vision enhanced even further and he threw himself up onto his hunches and looked around. His vision filled with red, and his mind could only center on the absence of his Guide. 'Must find and protect the Guide' flashed through his mind. He hunched down even lower and dug his nails into the earth beneath him. Before Jim realized what was happening he was shooting across the landscape, barely acknowledging the trees and hillsides falling by his wayside. He was running and dodging every obstacle in his path.

He kept running, his mind in a red, hazy rage. He came to the high way and jumped out of the path of the cars on it. He was about to jump over the guardrail and begin to run down the side of the mountain on the other side of the highway when he heard something and felt something.

"Sentinel! Stop! You cannot go down there!" There was an empathic connection reaching for him and surrounding him. He sunk low on his hunches and turned to look at the Guide who had climbed from his car. It was not his Guide. He had to find his Guide. He growled unbeknownst to himself and was about to turn and ignore the man.

"Stop! I know what happened! I can feel it. Just please calm down and let me try to help you." The empathic connection grew stronger and Jim in his mentally weakened state felt himself start to give in to it. The shelter, the protection from the agony. It was a sweetness that had driven him mad once absent. He watched the Guide approach carefully and slowly a hand was lowered onto his shoulder and he felt himself anchored and shielded once again. Then he felt tears roll down his face. What happened to his Guide? He had been in such pain, had he chosen to end it, finding his plan to travel to the tribes less than adequate. Had he been the victim of a B and E? Had someone found and hurt him, killed him?

"Shush Sentinel. I can feel what happened. And once I get you back to-"the man looked down at the sweat shirt and winced, "the base I will explain."

Jim had let himself be placed into the back seat of car, the childproof locks placed on all the doors. He sat in silence, mentally searching for his…other half and coming up empty. He resolved to look out the window at the mountain sides role past them. They were driving for a long time.

When they got back to base Jim realized that they had been franticly searching for him. He had managed to pull the Guide away and had asked him to not tell them where he was. He explained that no one knew he was online. The man relented as long as Jim told his CO. It was a conversation that he had loathed to have, the man present and slowly explaining what he knew and what he had discerned. He had been strongly reprimanded and would have been disciplined in some way if it were not for the Guide. The Guide it turned out was a counselor at the local center. He agreed to meet with Jim once a week for as long as Jim needed.

Jim was exhausted and sick to his stomach. The Guide councilor had explained that his Guide had tired of having a Sentinel reject him so much and had essentially severed the very weak, or in their case slightly strong, connection between them in an attempt to save his own mental sanity. He explained that it most likely had had the opposite effect and his Guide was paying dearly for it. Probably secluded in a center because of extremely suicidal instincts. Guides lived for their Sentinels. Without a Sentinel to anchor them emotionally they were weak and vulnerable to the emotions of the world.

That night Jim curled around his knees and sobbed. The others in the barracks sat listening with wide, afraid eyes. Many of the Sentinels and Guides on the base had sensed he was a Sentinel, but could equally sense that he did not want to be one. They could sense that he was hiding. Just like they could sense now that the small bond he shared with his Guide was severed. Just like they could sense that he had been highly feral only hours before, just like they could sense the pain and emptiness in him now. Many wondered what happened to his Guide but did not ask. They just slid further into their beds and bathed in their own small connections with their other halves.

It was two years before Jim felt the connection come back to life. Two agonizing years. The darkest years of his life, but also the years where he learned the most about himself. Nothing in his life could have prepared him for the soul crushing emptiness that filled him that day and continued to stay with him. He had tried to reconnect to him only for Blain, the councilor that had found him that day, to tell him that since his Guide was the one who had severed it, his Guide would have to in turn reconnect their minds.

"_And I don't wanna move a thing. It might change my memory….And I can't leave this bed,Risk forgetting all that's been" Dido Here With Me_

AN:: Hey all sorry this is so late, I've been developing some of my other stories. For all you guys interested I updated my story information on my profile in my bio. Something for you all to look forward to. So yes this is only part one of chapter one. The next chapter will be a bit…..different than this one was. I hope you all enjoyed it.

Love all, Kat


	3. Chapter One: Memories Part Two

**A quick word to my readers:: I updated my stroy info in my bio. be sure to check that every so often for any updates.**

**Playlist: 1) Here With Me Dido 2) Here With Me Mercy Me 3)Lilac Wine Miley Cyrus/ Jeff Buckley 4) Wake Me Up Evenesance 5) 2 Become 1 Spice Girls 6) If You Come To Me Atomic Kitten 7) Eternal Flame**

**Here With Me: Chapter One Memories Part Two**

"**I lost myself on a cool damp night. Gave myself in that misty light. Was hypnotized by a strange delight. Under a lilac tree."**

Sentinel Jim twenty two years of age:

He was lying in bed in the barracks, tossing and turning. There was wound in the back of his mind and down deep in his soul. It was like an open festering wound that he covered carefully with a band aid of his shields. He didn't let that wound stay uncovered for long. He wasn't shielding it from the world, he was shielding it from himself. He couldn't bear to feel it so intensely every day. Jim wanted nothing but to feel the connection alive and thriving. He understands why his guide had done it.

Jim was denying him repeatedly what was only natural for them, and he had felt the anguish in his Guide's soul. His Guide's mental health would have deteriorated until he was sick and unstable. His Guide had decided to be selfish and think of his wellbeing first. It was unsaid for it to be done. A Sentinel and Guide thought only of the other. But Jim had been selfish for a very long time, it was only fitting that his Guide do so as well.

But the wound left inside of him was enough to drive him to his knees. He saw Blain once a week and every time they explored the prospect that his guide would never fix the connection. He wanted Jim to be able to live with the wound, instead of using his mental energy to protect himself from the pain. So every time they met they worked on Jim lessening the shields surrounding the damaged part of him. Little did Blain know that Jim only made the shields stronger after each time. He was determined to never have to feel the pain he felt that day.

But he needed something to do, something to focus his mind on. So when he was offered assignment to go to Peru, he took it. He drenched himself in combat.

Guide Blair seventeen years old:

He stared at the stars from on his back. He had worked long and hard to understand why he has such a strong connection with his sentinel, who he's never even met. He walked the path of shaman to understand. He absorbed and learned all he could learn. He needed to learn how to be a humanly strong as possible if he was going to survive a life without his Sentinel. But he also knew he was going to find him one day especially if he Sentinel refused to come to him. He would search him out and he would find him. He wished he could repair the damage between them now, but he wasn't ready yet. Reactivating the connection would only prove to Blair how much he had hurt his Sentinel, and Blair wasn't strong enough to handle that yet. But someday.

Sentinel Jim Twenty two:

He was in cover when something in him snapped back on. Normally, the sensory blow out would have been agony for him but Jim had spent the past two years past two years honing his abilities. He had to if he was going to survive. He had gradually spent time learning to operate with senses dialed all the way up all the time. It had become very helpful in a war zone. So the blow out of having his Guide reconnect their minds and souls was minuscule, in fact it barely registered. While he had spent all his time with his senses dialed all the way up, the once bleeding wound was so heavily shielded it was in a scarred over. He ducked as a saw a bullet whiz toward him.

'This is kinda a bad time right now Guide. I'll get back to ya kid.' He thought, then shielded his mind even further so he couldn't even feel the hardest of brushes. The connection was there it was badly damaged and it would take some time to repair. Jim shrugged his shoulders, a little distracted by the tether like connection in the back of his mind. It was calling him to come repair it with his Guide, but that was kinda out of the question right now.

It took some time for him to deal with the guerrilla soldiers firing at him. He was only the one left of his men and he had to survive. He crawled into his shelter and began to strip and clean his gun. It always centered him. After he did this he laid down onto his back and dropped the extra shield he had put up while in combat.

His Guide was there, confused. Jim brushed against his shields reassuringly. ' Sorry. I was busy trying to survive.' The confused deepened and Jim sighed. He sent a mental image of what he was just doing. He immediately felt concern across their connection. He closed his eyes and centered himself on the tether like connection. It was once like a chain woven of millions of tinier chains. Now it was broken, weak and incomplete. He reached for a part of it and infused it with understanding and watched as it repaired itself. He watched as his Guide reached forward and infused a part with concern and worry.

They went through and did this until the connection was as strong as they could make it at the time. Time would have to heal the rest of it. He had felt his chest tighten when emotions like love, longing, desire, lust, and apology were infused into the chain tether. He didn't know how to respond to that. Most of the emotions he was infusing into it were understanding, reassurance, acceptance and forgiveness. The closeness that was once there, infused when they were children, was gone. It would take time to get that back, if ever.

He felt pain flit into his mind, and like a father or an older brother, gently reassured his Guide. His Guide recoiled at that softly and instead just nested in Jim's mind for his emotional anchoring. He felt an invitation from him to nest in his Guide's mind for his own anchoring. Jim gently refused and rolled over to fall asleep. It was strange having the other's presence in his mind again. It was strange but nice too in away.

AN/ So about this chapter. Idk how old jim was when he went to peru or any of the details surrounding it. As I said in the prologue I haven't actually seen the show. This story is based off another authors work…though I did mix it up slightly. I don't really care in this case if my story isn't cannon. That's fine. I know their ages and the time line is different that's okay too for me. However, they are the ages they are in the show in the prologue or close, anyways as I think I seriously made their age difference closer than it is in the show. Ehhh no worries. I hope you guys liked this installment. Next chapter will be present day. I will bridge the gaps no worries.


	4. Chapter Two: Falling For You

Playlist: 1) Here With Me Dido 2) Here With Me Mercy Me 3)Lilac Wine Miley Cyrus/ Jeff Buckley 4) Falling For You Chester See 5) 2 Become 1 Spice Girls 6) If You Come To Me Atomic Kitten 7) Eternal Flame 8) Try Nelly Furtado 9) Spem In Alium Thomas Tallis (Fifty shout out- I mean com'on people this is sooooooo Christian and Ana's song…other than Try by Nelly Furtado!)

**Here With Me: Chapter Two: Falling For You**

_Sentinel Jim:_ _I don't wanna tell you that sometimes I think of you and smile._

Jim woke up with an aching in his chest. He put his arm over his eyes and groaned. The shared dream was…more like a series of flash backs and Jim wanted to burry himself into his pillows. He wasn't sure if he was the cause or if his Guide was, but Jim felt shame and quilt bubble in his chest. He had been so young then. Young and stupid. Being the sole purpose for his Guide to sever their fragile bond and run to a remote corner of the world was a heady thing to think about.

Jim knows he should have treated the other man so much better than he did. But it was in the past, in their past. And if his Guide was right, their future together was inevitable and coming much sooner than Jim really wanted it too. He sat up in his bed and wanted to chuck the pillow across the room. He felt a sleepy brush against his mind, the image of a bed and pillow flitting through his mind. His Guide was encouraging him back to sleep. He shrugged and instead answered with a vision of a hot shower.

_I'm torn between the chance for everything and a price that I can't pay._

That might have been the wrong thing to send the younger man if the flicker of arousal was anything to go off of. He shook his head and made his way to the bathroom. He was quick and made sure his mind was shielded. He didn't want to add fuel to his Guide's flame, and he didn't want what the other man was no doubt doing to add fuel to Jim's own reluctant flame. It was a tantalizing prospect though. Jim focused on his breathing and tried to will his morning wood to go away. With a growl he turned the cold water on.

His body was ready to respond to the other, even now though they weren't yet bonded. He hung his head, and meditated until he was no longer being fueled by some ancient instinct to take his Guide. He knew he was a strong Sentinel that he would register at the very top of the scale or even off of it, but even he had trouble blocking out such strong mating signals.

As he was getting his coffee that morning, he contemplated registering, but he really didn't want to. His on line status was a very private thing. He wanted to just walk in there, register, and have himself tested, all so that he could find registered Guides anywhere near his level on the scale. He opened the door and picked up his papers and delivered subscribed magazines.

He sat at his breakfast table and picked up the magazine on the top of the pile. It was a magazine about Sentinels and Guides. All of the magazines were. It was his way of checking up on things. He wasn't stupid. He knew he was the strongest Sentinel for….quite a ways. He had never met a Sentinel who he wasn't stronger than. It used to unnerve all of his conservators that he refused to go to a center. He knew that if he did register that he would be labeled as the Alpha Sentinel for…well…Jim didn't actually know. And that was a responsibility he wasn't ready for nor one he wanted.

_cause every time I'm near you I just seem to lose my head and spend my time admiring instead.  
_  
He flicked through the articles reading most of them. He got to an article that was quite literally a debate. More specifically it was a question and answer article that took on two sides of an argument, therefore the debate. It was interesting. The journalist was asking questions about the difference between platonic and sexual bonding, and about whether one was actually better than one. The scientist, the one promoting platonic bonding, was getting owned by the other expert. Jim cracked a smile. _Serves the dick head right._ Jim knew that pairs who were sexually bonded were stronger and more stable simply because he had met and felt for lack of a better term both platonically bonded pairs and sexually bonded pairs. The platonic pairs were always weaker and unstable compared to the pairs that had a sexual bond, especially a strong one.

He smiled and nodded his head. Dr. Sandburg is a god damn genius, and Jim found the young man's work, intellect and wisdom refreshing. He could remember the first time he had come across the younger man's work. He was investigating the death of a Guide, and had gone to the Cascade Center the Guide had belonged to so he could subpoena them for their records.

It was there that he had seen an Academic Journal on display in the lobby of the Center. A good portion of the journal was compromised of Dr. Blair Sandburg's work. From then on Jim was almost…taken with him...or at least his work. He had been secretly ecstatic when Dr. Sandburg's first book was published. When the good doctor published an autobiography, he had been simply giddy. He had yet to read the autobiography because he was still reading Dr. Sandburg's latest book, but Jim was so deeply looking forward to learning more about the doctor. Jim couldn't help himself. He felt oddly connected to the doctor. For some strange reason.

He felt amusement ghost into his mind, his Guide was always so amused by Jim's feelings toward Dr. Sandburg. Jim couldn't fathom why. He sipped his coffee and munched on his toast as he read articles written both by Dr. Sandburg and articles written about his work.

_I'm falling for you I'm falling for you._

'_If you register, you might be able to meet him someday, or at very least stalk his forums that are exclusively through the National Center.' _The thought came through loud and clear. And Jim definitely perked up at that. Blair Sandburg was the Alpha Guide for the East coast, and if Jim was registered as the Alpha Sentinel for the west coast, surly the two of them might cross paths. He was so tempted. He really was. The very thought of meeting the other man was breath taking. It was just as breath taking as the thought of meeting his Guide was.

Amusement was resonating deep in his mind. A stray thought came to his mind, purely by his own volition. His guide was an Alpha. He had to be. What if his Guide was Guide Blair Sandburg? Unfortunately he was swallowing a large gulp of coffee when this thought came to him, so he sputtered and chocked. He slammed his mug down onto the table and beat his chest with his fist, both to clear his lungs and to restart his heart.

Laughter was echoing so deep into his mind. No Way. NO POSSIBLE WAY. This wasn't actually happening was it? His vision was swimming. _'I am just teasing you Sentinel. But since we have never met or exchanged emails, I could be Guide Sandburg with you never realizing it.'_ Jim looked at the picture of Blair Sandburg above the article and nearly swooned like a girl.

'_Are you?'_ He asked as he stared at the photo.

'_Am I what?_' His Guide answered a little mischievously.

Jim gritted his teeth. _'Blair Sandburg.' _The laughter was back.

'_If I said yes would you register and track me down? Or if I said no would you remain unregistered and under the radar? I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted by your little man crush on the good doctor.' _

'_Will you just answer the damn question?' _Jim snapped in anger.

'_No. How 'bout you stop being a coward and register. You clearly acknowledge your Alpha Sentinel duties, you clearly have never met a stronger Sentinel, and you clearly feel connected with at least one Guide if you want to think of me as Blair Sandburg. So how 'bout you just register and see what happens.'_

Jim rolled his eyes and dropped his head down on to the table. _'I seem to remember challenging you to find me, Guide. Not the other way around.' _

His Guide was happy and amused. Jim could feel it almost vibrate in his bones_. 'Oh I am still looking for you of course. If you register you'll be able to track Blair down, and I'll be able to track you down. And what are a few more duties on top of your work? You've always made it a point to handle Sentinel and Guide cases personally. You already know the highest ranking Sentinel for your community and are on good terms with her. And you just know that's because she can feel how much stronger you are than her. You might be unregistered Sentinel, but you are not unnoticeable. So really…what harm could it do?'_

Jim sighed. True. What harm could it do? Plus…he could finally clean house at the Centers in Washington State. They were run by complete morons, some of the teachers and doctors were competent however. He and the higher ranked Sentinels and Guides in his community had always had a hard time with the Cascade Center. And the other centers in the state seemed little better. He briefly wondered if the National Center was run by better Sentinels and Guides.

His brow furrowed. What harm could it do? He realized it was long beyond time to do so. He nodded his head and made to call Simon. He felt approval and love seep into his mind.

_I'm trying hard to be myself but I always seem to fail. I'm afraid I'm not the guy you know so well.  
_

The building of the Cascade Center was a foreboding sight, but it was a necessary sight. He walked into the lobby with all of his senses dialed up and all of his shields down. He wanted to rock the foundations of the Center as well as all of its occupants. The receptionist was looking up at him with her mouth hanging open. They knew each other, had for some time since he had been forced to work closely with the Cascade Center when he worked his Sentinel and Guide cases.

She had always known he was a strong Sentinel but nowhere near this level. "I've come to register and be tested." He told her rather bluntly. She coughed and sputtered and nodded her head. She picked up her phone but was interrupted as the elevator doors opened. The Cascade Center administrator was standing there frowning at Jim. At the invasion that this surely was.

Jim stared back and felt many brushes into his mind. He smirked and let Dr. Roger Lee see openly into his mind. The presence was unrefined and clumsy. If Jim's shields had been up, the clumsy oaf would have battered his mind against them. Just being inside of Jim's mind was taking a lot out of the other man. He felt the presence withdraw after only a minuets time. Jim smirked.

"Could we possibly get this over with? I don't want to remain unshielded for too long. I'm sure you understand."

The testing process was easy yet also difficult for Jim. He let his senses expand to their upper most ability. That part was easy. However being so unshielded and having such a clumsy oaf in his head was taxing at the very least.

Jim was happy to finally get rid of most of the people employed at the Cascade Center when it happened. On top of having to get rid of them he also had to send them to other centers to be retrained. It took a few days to make sure that there were replacements to fill the positions but other than that the process was virtually easy. However, it was taxing on his shields as well. Having to interview so many Sentinels and Guides had proven to be a strain on him as he was generally mucking around in their minds or testing their shields. He recognized his new status but was adamant that he didn't want to be the administrator for the Cascade Center. He would have too many centers look after as it was. When he walked in on the seventh day, he was only mildly surprised to see someone meet him. And he was only mildly surprised when that person led him to an office that the administrator had set up for him to use for when he had business at the center.

And he wasn't much surprised when a pride began forming around him. A very protective pride, who Jim felt would wage war on his behalf if he asked them too, and in so little time too. Jim was surprised when he felt little from his Guide, other than the comfort his Guide gave him after each day. By the eighth day Jim was beginning to wonder if the other man was alright.

'_You have done very well Sentinel. I am proud of you. Now as your reward, I will answer your question. Yes I am an Alpha Guide. But I will not tell you where from. After all I am the one who's supposed to track you down. Anyway you've got your man crush to stalk.'_

It was safe to say Jim made short work of tracking down Dr. Sandburg's secure email through the National Center. He was nervous and excited when he emailed the doctor. He explained how he had always found Guide Sandburg's work amazing and he wanted to discuss some of the finer points of the other man's work.

_Guide Blair: But I don't know how long I can stick around and be just another friend time and time again and hold my tongue. I don't know how long before it breaks me down inside and all my strength has gone away, and it's too late before I say I'm falling for you_

Blair heard his phone notify him of an email. He clicked it open and cracked a grin the size of the Grand Canyon. He eagerly sat on the park bench and pulled his laptop out of his bag. Blair had been good and had waited until his Sentinel had reached out to him, but now he was overzealous and simply thrumming with anticipation. He logged into his account with the National Center's website and quickly typed in the name in the search bar. His finger paused over the send button, a bit nervous of what he'd find. He took a big, deep breath and pressed on. When Jim's picture and bio popped up, Blair felt his heart stop. He bit his lip as a million emotions soared through him.

"So it begins Sentinel Ellison."

_Losing you is something that I'd never chose so I'll just have to wait, but it kills me every day.  
I'm falling for you. I don't wanna tell you sometimes I think of you and smile.  
_

**AN/ I know it's a day late but I am I was buried in Fifty Shades of Grey…and omg omg omg. Oh my subby heart just sings for that trilogy. Ok so yea…the playlist is kinda just gona pop up everywhere no matter the order of it. I wish I could just pick a song for a chapter and stick with it for that chapter but my muses just don't work that way for this story. I think I will certainly make number nine the closing song for this story. And I can't very well insert it into the story. But ehh. Okay so yea. I decided to make Jim man up, hes a mans man after all. I thoroughly enjoyed writing Jim's Blair Crush and I certainly enjoyed making Blair play with him. So I guess its safe to say im taking liberties with Keira's universe, and seeing as how I cant find the show anywhere except the crappy quality on youtube, im just gona take my liberties. I hope you all liked this chapter. The real fun begins after this lol. Oh…just so every one knows New York is two hours ahead of Washington state, so its reasonable to say that they could both be asleep at the same time.**

**Love all, Kat**

**ps. I fixed the typos in this chapter for you guys.**


	5. Chapter Three: Lonesome

**Playlist: 1) Here With Me Dido 2) Here With Me Mercy Me 3) Lilac Wine Miley Cyrus/ Jeff Buckley 4) Falling For You Chester See 5) Don't think Twice, It's Alright Kesha 6)2 Become 1 Spice Girls 7) Lonesome when you go Miley Cyrus and Johnzo West 8) If You Come To Me Atomic Kitten 9) Eternal Flame 10) Try Nelly Furtado 11) Spem In Alium Thomas Tallis**

**Here With Me: Chapter Three: It's Alright, I'll Just Be Lonesome When You Go**

Sentinel Jim:

He checked his email as he sat in his desk at work. He smiled at Guide Sandburg's response.

From: Blair Sandburg

Subject: Hello, it's nice to meet you too!

To: Jim Ellison

Hello, Alpha Sentinel.

I am happy to meet you as well. I was very glad to find that you agree with my opinions and theories about sexual bonding being stronger than platonic bonds. I have never understood how Sentinels and Guides could think platonic bonding is better. I have always been able to sense the weakness in platonic bonding the same way you always have been able to. Perhaps it is because we have such strong abilities that we can sense it. I can just look at a platonically bonded couple and know that at least one of them wants to sexually bond. Nature intended for Guides and Sentinels to sexually bond, to produce even more Guides and Sentinels. And nature provides. There is a Sentinel for every Guide and a Guide for every Sentinel. Even latent and dormant Guides and Sentinels have a "mate". Though we all know dormant Guides and Sentinels are better of never coming on line. They still have perfect match. I have always known when someone was latent or dormant. My parents both are, which is why it's so curious that they got such a strong Guide for a son. It's hard to be around my father sometimes, knowing that he is a dormant Sentinel. Have you also always been able to sense someone who is latent and dormant?

Alpha Guide Blair Sandburg  
National Guide/Sentinel Center

_Well it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe_

Jim smiled and was just about to respond when Simon walked into his office with a serious look on his face. "We have a murdered Guide, and a feral Sentinel in down town Cascade. Apparently they were supposed to meet up at a coffee shop for lunch and her Guide was stabbed in a mugging. We better get down there."

Jim was already up and pulling on his jacket. He felt a flicker of sadness in his mind but he pushed it away.

He got to the crime scene and wasn't surprised to see a beautiful, thin but well-built female Sentinel in a feral state crouched over the body of her Guide. Jim stepped forward in front of crowd gathering in front of her but kept a safe and healthy distance. He crouched down so he eye level with her. He knew her, she was a part of his pride. He hadn't felt her death because he hadn't performed a pride imprint on any of them yet. They were the only all-female pairing in his entire pride.

_When the rooster crows, at the break of dawn, look out your window and I'll be gone__._

"Leah, sweetie you have to calm down. You aren't helping her by keeping us from doing our jobs. If you let me I'll find who hurt her. I find him and I'll bring her justice." He spoke quietly. She growled, and looked torn. Not knowing how to handle the situation. Her instincts were warring inside her. Track down who killed her Guide or stay and protect her Guide's body?

"Okay how about this. You let the crime scene investigators take their pictures and work the scene, and you and I'll scent out her killer and you can kill him, you're perfectly within your rights to do so. My boss Simon will ride with her the entire time to the morgue and make sure that no one touches her ok. You have my word that no one will desecrate her remains."

She looked from her Guide's body to Jim, then to Simon. She nodded her head slowly, and then growled when an investigator began to step forward. Jim held his hand to stop the man from approaching. "Scent." It was all she said and Jim understood. He kept himself low and moved towards her.

He crouched beside her and heard her sniffing her Guide's body. He leaned forward and found a number of scents in the Guide's scent pile. The biggest one on her now was the scent of fear, pain, and death. But beneath that was the combined scent of Guide and Sentinel. And beneath that was…a smell that made his nose turn up.

"Dormant Sentinel." Leah growled out and the entire situation just got a lot worse. "Okay, Leah. It's okay. We'll scent him out ok. We'll find him, together." They shared a look and sniffed the air, looking for the exact scent that still lingered on Allie's body.

They each tilted their heads to the side when they found it. Then before anyone could protest, the pair was racing down the street. Jim kept his speed slower than normal and matched her pace perfectly. He was normally so fast he'd blur on camera, but she was only a level four Sentinel, so he matched her pace. It was important that they did this together.

_It ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe. I'm on the dark side of the road._

It took some time but they eventually found him running down an alley. He looked at Leah and saw that she was barely functioning. "Take him Leah. It's your right." The mugger heard this and spun around to look at them. Before he could ask who they were, she was launching herself at him and screaming with a feral scream. She knocked him to the ground, pinned him there and began to punch him. She hissed in slight pain when the tip of the knife he used to kill her Guide grazed her fist. She dropped her arm and yanked the bloody knife from the breast pocket of his over coat.

He winced and dialed down his smell. However, Leah's eyes seemed to glass over, and before he could stop her she was plunging the knife repeatedly into the man's stomach. She was screaming her Guide's name the entire time. He heard his heart stop beating and was forced to pry her off of him.

"He's gone Leah, you made him pay. You killed him. You gave her justice." He held her tight as she kept screaming and thrashing.

_Ain't no use in callin' out my name, babe__._ _I can't hear you anymore__._

"Allison!" She screamed out and sobbed as her legs buckled. He lowered her to the ground gently. "I know it's killing you Leah. I know it hurts. I'm so sorry this happened. Shh it'll be okay. I promise with time it'll get better."

He heard a noise behind him and realized that Brown and Rafe had found them. He pulled his cell phone from his jacket and dialed the Cascade Center.

"This is Ellison. I need you to send a car and a bus down to South Lincoln Street. Bring a conservator and tell them that a Sentinel's Guide was just murdered, and that she in turn killed her Guide's killer. I also need a bus to go to the Cascade morgue and transfer Allison Thomson's body to the Cascade Center's morgue." He hung up and dialed Simon all the while Leah sobbed into his chest.

_Thinkin' and a-wond'rin' walkin' down the road. You once loved a woman, and a child you know. I gave you my heart__._

"Simon hey, I have a bus heading over to morgue to transfer her body to the Center. No. The head coroner won't mind Simon. How do I know? I know because he's a latent Sentinel that's how I know."

Jim heard the opening and closing of a car door. He looked up and sighed as he saw Anastasia. She was the strongest conservator they had, and thankfully wasn't helping anyone at present. She approached slowly and knelt down in front of Leah.

"Leah, it's going to be ok. You will get through this. You will be fine, in time." Ana said. Leah looked ahead and seemed to stare unseeing at Allie's killer's body. Ana snapped her fingers in front of Leah's face a few times.

_I'm walkin' down that long and lonesome road, babe. Where I'm bound, I can't tell. But goodbye is just too good a word, babe. So I'll just say fare thee well_

"Leah. Hey. Focus on me. Don't look at him. Look at me. Ground your sense of sight on to me." Leah shifted her gaze to Ana, and took in the woman. She took in her red hair, he brown eyes, her wide set mouth.

_Purple clover Queen Anne lace, Crimson hair across your face__._

"That's-" She looked at Leah with her eyes growing wide. Leah zeroed in on her and pulled her way out of Jim's arms. She crawled to Ana and came to sit in front of her. Then she screamed as the sirens of the police cars became too much. Everything was too much. The smells, the sounds, the tastes, the ground beneath her felt like a million knifes stabbing her.

_Can't remember what I was thinking of__._

Jim tilted his head, confused. She had already been on line. She had had a Guide, had been married. Yet here she was having a sensory overload to such an extent that it could only mean one thing. He looked from Leah to Ana who was crouching there with a hand over mouth.

_I've seen love go by my door. It's never been this close before__._

He stood up and pulled her with him. "Ana, what the hell is going on?!" Jim bit out.

"I don't know! I have never heard of this happening! I don't understand either Sir!" Jim's mind was whirling. Who on the planet might know? Who? Then his mind clicked.

"Get in the car with her and go to the center. I'll be behind you guys in my own car. I need to make a call."

_Never been so easy or so slow. I've been shooting in the dark too long. When something not right it's wrong._

He dialed the number for the Cascade Center. "This is Ellison. I need the number for the National Guide/Sentinel Center." He snapped fingers at Rafe and gestured with his hand that he needed paper and pen. He carefully wrote the number down as the receptionist read it off to him. He didn't give her a chance to ask what was going on, before he was dialing the number and asking for Guide Sandburg's number. He hung up on that receptionist as well. He dialed the number only briefly realizing that he was about to call his "Man Crush".

_Dragon clouds so high above. I've only known careless love. It's always hit me from below__._

"This is Blair Sandburg speaking." Jim heard through the phone.

"Yes. Yes Guide Sandburg this is Jim Ellison, I emailed you yesterday."

"Ugh. Um yes. Hello Sentinel, what can I do for you? You sound urgent, is everything alright?" Jim closed his eyes.

"I don't know. Have you ever heard of a Sentinel being blocked so that when they come on line they aren't at their true level?" Jim asked as he bit the inside of his cheek.

"Why do you ask, what's happened?" It was Blair's turn to sound urgent.

"A level four Guide was murdered today in a mugging. Her Sentinel went feral. The only way I could get her to let the investigators do their jobs was by promising her that she and I would track her Guide's killer down and that she could take her right and kill him. After she did that, I called the local center and had them send out a conservator. It was going well until Leah focused on her, then she seemed to have a massive sensory overload. So massive that it could only mean she'd found her perfect match. But the Conservator, Ana, is a low 6. She's the strongest Guide in Cascade. And she seemed to sense that Leah was her Sentinel. Do you know what could explain this?" Jim explained thoroughly and then asked hoping that Guide Sandburg would have an answer.

"Yes. I'll have my center fly me out as soon as possible. Jim, you have to let them sexually bond. It's important that you do. Leah's mind can't handle coming on line as such a strong Sentinel this late in life. If she doesn't bond and have her Guide help her create a primary shield she'll go insane and die. Seclude them in the center. No outside contact with people who don't have the Guide/Sentinel gene. I'll be there as soon as I can and I'll explain to you and them what's going on."

Jim pinched the bridge of his nose as they said their goodbyes and hung up their phones.

_This time around it's more correct. Right on target, so direct. You might be spoiling me in too much love._

When he got to the center he walked over to them. "Leah, Ana. I was able to contact Guide Sandburg and he is going to fly out as soon as possible. He said that the two of you have to bond. Sexually bond."

Leah shook her head and let out a sob. "I'm not sexually bonding with another Guide on the same day that MY GUIDE WAS MURDERED!"

_Situations have ended sad. Relationship have all been bad. Mine've been like Verlaine's and Rimbaud. But there's no way I can compare. All those scenes to this affair._

Jim sighed and crouched down in front of her. "Leah, you found your perfect match and came completely on line. You won't survive coming on line at this level so late in life if you don't sexually bond. A platonic bond MIGHT be strong enough but I doubt it. What would Allison have you do Leah? Would she tell you to let yourself die? Or would she tell you to do what was necessary for you to survive?"

Leah's eyes shined as she admitted the truth to herself. She looked at Ana and felt such a strong pull to be by her side, to take her, and claim her as only a Sentinel can a Guide. Ana looked at her with a sense of strong need. She was empathically sensitive right now, in the middle of an empathic overload. She couldn't explain what was going on but sexually bonding seemed like the best thing to do.

They each nodded their heads. He sighed and had a nurse show them to a room so they could bond.

_You're gonna make me wonder what I'm doing. Staying far behind without you. You're gonna make me wonder what I'm saying. You're gonna make me give myself a good talking to._

He made his way to his office. The administrator was there waiting for him. Jim sighed really hoping he wasn't going to have to play some macho Sentinel game with him.

"You called Sandburg for help." He said as he leant against the wall.

"Yep." Jim answered.

"You let a feral Sentinel kill someone, even though he would have been arrested and probably found guilty."

"Yea." Jim responded.

"You talked a feral Sentinel and our strongest conservator into sexually bonding."

"Yep. Sure did."

The administrator narrowed his eyes briefly then relaxed. "Good call Alpha." The administrator said clapping Jim's shoulder with his hand.

"Hey, why don't you get a room here and sleep for a while? I'll keep an eye on things while you rest up." Jim sighed, suddenly feeling as tired as he must have looked.

"Yea. Sounds like a plan."

_Flowers on the hillside blooming crazy. Crickets talking back and forth in rhyme. Blue river running slow and lazy. I could stay with you forever. And never realize the time._

As he laid down he felt a calming presence in the back of his mind.

'_Jim. I'll be there soon. I'm on a jet right now. Hmm, before we help Ana and Leah we should probably take care of ourselves first. I apologize for deceiving you.' _The thought came through so clearly. And Jim rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling.

'_Hmm__,__ it enabled you to find me. Just like I told you to. You knew that I would want to reach out to…well you…too badly to pass up the chance. You baited me and I fell for it. It worked. And we were going to meet eventually anyway__.__' _Jim thought and rolled his head on his shoulders.

_I'll look for you in old Honolulu, San Francisco, Ashtabula._

'_You're mad.' _His Guide thought to him and Jim bristled slightly then shrugged into the empty darkness.

'_Mad about the day I had? Yes. Mad that I came across a Sentinel/Guide issue I didn't know the answer to? Yes. Mad that I didn't imprint on Allie so I couldn't tell she was in danger? Yes. Mad that I was too far away to even help if I had sensed she was in danger? Yes. Mad that the only way I had the balls to contact you was when I needed your help? Yes. Mad that even then I didn't know I was contacting YOU? Yes. Mad that I've pushed you away and to the point of you severing our weak and fragile link that we technically shouldn't have, but do because of how off the scale our abilities are? Yes. Mad that I am still scared about having sex with another man? Yes. Mad that you tricked me and took our meeting into your own hands when I so clearly wasn't going to? No. No__,__ I am not mad about that. Actually…I'm kinda proud you thought of it. I can be a devious bastard when I want to be. My perfect match would have to be someone who could keep up with that, and someone who could keep up with me.'_

Laughter filled his head, and his eyes felt heavy.

'_It was nice hearing your voice. I fell off my chair at work when you told me your name and I realized who you were. In front of everyone. It was so embarrassing. It's nice having a voice to put to the sense in the back of my head. And from the picture you have posted in the registry…I think your very VERY attractive. You know…I don't know how I thought you'd sound like, but I kinda day dreamed you might sound like Pierce Brosnan, or Sean Connery, or Harrison Ford, or even William Shatner__.__'_

Jim chuckled _'Sorry to disappoint you Blair.' _

'_I'm not disappointed. Those were day dreams Jim, you…you're the real thing and reality is always better than fantasy.' _Blair thought back happily.

'_You knew I was obsessed with you the entire time. That was why you always laughed at my "man crush".'_

'_Yes. It was nice to feel those feelings from you whenever you thought about me. You always felt so giddy when you thought about Dr. Sandburg. You always felt like a school boy in love. But when you thought about ME, your Guide, you didn't feel the same. You always felt nervous and anxious, and scared. No matter what I ever said, you were scared. Even disturbed. The conflicting emotions about me drove me crazy. At least it was confusing, at most it was heart breaking. When you realized that your Guide was an Alpha Guide, I just couldn't sit by and let that go. I goaded you into registering so you could track me down and so I in turn could track you down. Even now you feel that way, you're scared. You…are conflicted even more than you were before.'_

_But I'll see you in the sky above. In the tall grass in the ones I love._

'_I'm not conflicted Blair. I'm scared and excited and nervous and happy. We are finally doing what we should have done when I felt you come on line when we were kids. I am meeting my crush and my Guide. Ha. Trust me I'm fine.' _

'_What you are is falling asleep. That's good. Sleep. I'll be there in a few hours and when I get there I'll have someone show me to your room and we'll do our thing. Afterward, we'll help Ana and Leah.'_

'_Hmm'_

'_Ha. Good night Sentinel.'_

'_Hmm, good night baby.'_

_You could make me cry if you don't know._

Guide Blair:

Blair inhaled sharply and leaned back in his chair. Damn…he was in trouble. There was no way he wasn't already in love with the man. And now…if they bonded, that'd be it. There would be no going back, no running off to live with the tribes, there'd be no severing the fragile link, there would be no distancing himself. It was do or don't. And he had to. He was just as scared as Jim was. Only he was scared he was going to get his heart broken. He tilted his head back and groaned. He sighed as he felt himself slip into sleep. Sleep where he dreamt a shared dream with Jim.

_You're gonna make me lonesome when you go._

_**AN: OMG I know it's been forever since I updated this story. To make up for that here is a nice long chapter to appease you all. Haha. It took me FOEVER to write this. hmm okay if anyone is wondering I pictured Allie to look like Hillary Duff, Leah to like**_ _**Tanaya Beatty, and Ana to look liken ariana grande. I hope you all enjoyed this installment. I apologize for any typos.**_


	6. Chapter Four: All For You

_**AN: sorry its been a little while! Play Hard is kinda monopolizing my time. And plus my moms been using my laptop to apply for work. Anyway this is the chapter where they meet. No song for this one. I own nothing sorry for any typos.**_

**Here With Me: Chapter Four: All For You**

Blair stepped into the Cascade Center and gasped. There were a number of very strong Sentinels and Guides. Blair could feel Ana and Leah, they were bonding. It was so calming and peaceful. Everyone in the center was affected. Other mated pairs were adding their own fuel to the flame, joining Ana and Leah in their most basic, and sacred of times.

Then he could feel Jim, he had been able to feel Jim as soon as he'd gotten into Cascade. There was no doubt in Blair's mind that this was the Sentinel he had known since he was a kid. The receptionist looked up at him and sighed in recognition. "Guide Sandburg. Thank God you're here. I'll let the administrator know you have arrived." She said as she picked up her phone.

Within minutes the administrator was striding into the lobby, with a very calm and goofy smile on his face. "Guide Sandburg! It's a pleasure to have in the Cascade Center! Seeing as Ana and Leah are still bonding, with seemingly no end in sight, I'll show you to a room for you to rest up."

"Actually Administrator Daniels, I'm here as much for my Sentinel as I am to help Ana and Leah. It's safe to say that for the time being the center is going to get VERY MELLOW."

Administrator Daniels turned and looked at him, with a bewildered look on his face. Then something clicked. He sighed then gave Blair a smile. "Of course you are. Let me show you to his room."

"You don't need to know who my Sentinel is?" Blair asked, amusement showing through his voice.

"Shit No! There is no possible way you could be any one else's Guide." The administrator and he stopped in front of a door and smiled at each other.

"There are uhh…supplies in the bedside table. It's all Sentinel friendly of course." He explained quite awkwardly.

"Thank you Sir, but that won't be necessary." Blair explained smirking at the look on the Sentinels face.

"Yes well. I'll just-" Then the door opened and a sleepy Jim leaned against the door frame, his gaze zeroing in on Blair. Blair's eyes widened and he looked away.

"Administrator Daniels, don't you have a center to run?" Jim asked him, all the while sliding his gaze up and down his Guide, drinking him in, grounding his sense of sight on to him, and imprinting it into his mind.

"Um yes. Yes I do Alpha-" The administrator stuttered out as he shuffled his feet.

"Oh for fucks sake Mike, leave!" Jim bit out. Mike jumped then turned and hightailed it out of the hallway. Blair chuckled into the back of his hand. He shifted, suddenly very, very nervous.

"So Guide. Here you are." Blair sighed and nodded his head.

"I told you I would be here Sentinel, and I am." He answered, his feet rooted to the spot. He was SO NEVOUS! When had this happened? Then he saw a fist grip his sweater and before Blair could react he was pulled into the room.

Blair squeaked as the door shut and he was pressed against it. Then his face was upturned and hard lips were on his own. He sighed, relaxing into the kiss. He opened his mouth for the questing tongue. He cooed into the kiss and dropped his messenger bag and duffel bag, winding his hands and arms around his Sentinel. The kiss was harsh but so sweet. Then it was broken and he was swung up and over Jim's shoulder.

He squawked and lightly hit the back beneath him. "JIM! There's no need to go all cave man me, dude!" He was laughing though, liking the fact that a Sentinel, his Sentinel, was getting all primal on him.

"Shut up Blair." It was all Jim said before Blair was swung back down, his back gently hitting the bed. Then Jim was on his hands and knees above him. Jim's hands were braced on the side of his head, and his knees on the outside of his hips. Blair opened his eyes and stared up into Jim's. His Sentinel bent his head and nuzzled his cheek. Then Jim pressed his nose into Blair's neck, imprinting Blair's sent into his memory. This Guide was HIS! Every single one of Jim's instincts were firing off and telling him it was so, the way it worked for normal Guides and Sentinels.

He sat back and stared down at Blair. He climbed off and looked him over. He was too dressed. This wasn't right. He wanted, no, he needed Blair naked. He pulled Blair up and began to strip him. When Blair reached his hands up to help, Jim growled in warning and watched in satisfaction as Blair's hands dropped back down. When he had Blair naked, Jim soaked his body in. The size, shape, and color of Blair's nipples. The bald chest, arms, pelvis, and legs. He picked an arm up and felt it. It was so smooth. Blair must have had his body hair removed for Jim's benefit. He looked at the hand in his. He flipped it over and looked at the lines on his palm, remembering them. He nails were clean and short, but not so short they were bloody.

He pushed Blair's arm up and slid his fingers along his under arm. He bent his head again and smelled Blair there. Blair's sent was intoxicating and was starting to make Jim's head fuzzy. Blair chuckled picking up on the feeling.

"I'm like the best intoxicant for you. Everything about me will make you feel like that, always. Not just now. In fact it'll be more intense after we bond." Jim grunted out in agreement and nipped Blair there softly.

Then he was sliding down so he could look at Blair's navel. He memorized everything about it. He dipped his tongue into it and nipped around it. The fuzzy feeling was getting more intense and Jim could barely keep himself in control.

"Shh. It's okay. You just need to hurry. Be thorough in your imprinting but hurry, we wouldn't want you going feral on me." Jim nodded his head and skipped Blair's cock and ass. He would get to those areas later. He slid his hands down Blair's legs and marveled at the softness. He got to Blair's feet and absorbed every detail his could about them. The arch, length of every toe. He pressed his nose into the arch of Blair's foot and inhaled, then licked it.

Blair laughed out at that. "Jim! That tickles!" Then Jim was sliding back up in front of him. He brushed Blair's long, curly hair of to the side and sucked in his earlobe into his mouth, and with every passing moment he shields dropped naturally all on their own. And as they dropped the more the vague impressions and distant voice in his head became clear and the voice loud.

"There you go. You're nesting Jim. WE'RE nesting, in each other." Jim had always known what imprinting was. He had imprinted on his parents and each of his conservators as he was growing up. He had always known what nesting was. He could feel it in bonded pairs. Sexually bonded pairs were always the most deeply nested.

But to imprint on your Guide and to nest in your Guide for the first time was different. How did pairs platonically bond? It just wasn't natural! This! This was the way it was supposed to be!

"Jim hurry. My shields…if we don't bond soon I could have an empathic overload." Blair whispered out. Jim sat back quick and looked at Blair. His shields were down and he was vulnerable to the feelings of everyone in the center, hell even in the city. He stood and quickly stripped, realizing ruefully that he was still clothed.

He closed his eyes. Should he force his shields to lower or should he let them lower naturally. "No. No. don't force them. But just hurry through the imprint. Your shields will keep lowering even when you're in me. Just hurry through the rest of the imprint."

Jim closed his eyes. And moaned. He could FEEL Blair. Suddenly Jim was kneeling in front of the younger man and sucking his Guide's cock into his mouth and down his throat. He memorized the feeling, the taste, the texture, the weight, and the smell as he sucked.

Blair gurgled and arched up, into him. "Yes. Jim. Yes. Ughh." Jim felt fingers slide through his short, black hair. He slid back and pushed Blair's legs apart and up. He tasted Blair there next, where Blair is the most basic, natural and earthy. Blair moaned and gripped Jim's hands hard.

Jim wished he could spend more time here, but he couldn't. He imprinted on this area as fast as possible, before he sat up and reached over for the clear, tasteless and scentless lube in the bedside table's drawer. Once Blair's body had adjusted to Jim's and Jim could spend more time preparing him, lube would be unnecessary.

He slicked himself and rubbed some into his Guide's body. His shields were almost completely lowered now. And he could feel Blair everywhere in him. He slid Blair's legs over his shoulders and lined himself up. He looked down at Blair and realized, and really absorbed what he was doing, what he was about to do.

A week ago he would have been disturbed and disgusted with himself. But now that his Guide was here, he couldn't not want him in this way. Blair sensed Jim's eyes on him and opened his own. He gazed up into Jim's sad, regret filled eyes.

He slid his hands up Jim's neck and onto the back of his head. He pulled Jim down and kissed him deeply, reassuring him that everything was okay. And Blair realized that their lives had been building up to and leading to this moment. Every single bittersweet moment. If they had bonded before this moment in time, would it have meant even half as much? Their lives had been leading them, guiding them, and preparing them, so that they could have an intense connection, an intense history, and an even more intense bond.

Jim felt Blair's realization and hummed his agreement into the kiss. Then his shields were lowered completely and he was surrounded in a white beautiful light. His emotions? Blair's emotions? His thoughts? Blair's thoughts? There was no distinction. This man was his perfect match. Jim had never felt so much love in all his life.

The small connection they had had all their lives had never been deep enough for Jim to truly know or understand. He pushed in and moaned as he bottomed out. Home, he had come home. This is where he belonged, without a doubt. He loved Blair. He always had. But had ran from it, and hid from it. And what a fool he had been. Blair kissed him on his cheeks and held him tight.

"Take me Sentinel. I've been waiting for you all of my life." And so he had. Jim could feel it, then without further thought he gave completely into his primal side. He gave in and claimed and took what was his. Because it was what he was born to do.

Michael Daniels sat in his desk chair in his office and let himself be drenched in the calm, comforting feeling home that Ellison and Sandburg were projecting. He gazed out his office window and sent a silent prayer out into the ether. He wanted his Guide so bad. But he had never been able to him…or her. He closed his eyes and felt a lone tear slide down his face.


End file.
